My mother hails from Bengal, a state in the east of India known for its rich history of literature, arts, cinema, economic and social sciences. It is the birthplace of many a literary and scientific giant. A unique aspect of Bengali culture is “adda”. Adda is “best described as an informal group
conversation that’s long, fluid, and relaxed in nature”. It typically occurs within a “para”, or neighborhood. Adda is the edifice upon which their sense of community is built. A highlight of my teenage years was visiting my Bengali cousins who lived in a locality far from mine. Everyday after sunset, friends and neighbors would gather in their home, unannounced. Conversations would be organic, ranging from day-to-day occurrences to political discourse. As the evening progressed, banter would get more animated and sometimes vociferous. But always good natured and no grudges were long held.
Reflecting upon the unprecedented mental well-being crisis afflicting millions globally, I increasingly feel that we need to go beyond our current suite of solutions. Much of our focus has been on helping individuals cope with highly stressful and often isolated lives, resulting in a proliferation of apps, therapies and medications. These solutions are vital and need to continue to evolve. They also need to be more accessible.
Yet, I believe we need to go past the manifestation and look into the causes in which this malaise has arisen. Our goal cannot be the mere absence of illness. It ought to be fostering an ability to thrive. We are inherently a relational species. Our well-being is deeply interwoven in the fabric of society and our relationships. The unconditional love from our family, our friendships, and the trust that is built working “in the trenches” with co-workers are essential ingredients for leading healthy lives. Relationships that are forged in physical proximity. Not via Zoom. Not by texting. Not in VR. Not in the metaverse. In. Real. Life.
Just like Bengalis and their beloved adda.
